Wednesday, May 6, 2009

It's a mental thing: Just keep going

Just this past weekend, several friends ran a mini-marathon (half marathon) among 35,000 other people!!! I could never do it myself, but I do have one good excuse: I row instead! I asked my friend Mihaela why she does it. She said it’s because of the positive effect of pushing herself beyond what seemed to be her limits (the competition against oneself!). She does it because it means getting involved in something that allows her to stay healthy, happy, and sane, to be in good company of other like-minded people, and last but not least, because of the joy and pride of succeeding… Mihaela, the long distance runner, added: “In the end, life itself is a marathon, we need to stay in shape for it!”


And what does it take? Obviously, if you decide to do something apparently extreme for your age, abilities, etc. - we are not talking only about an athletic endeavor - you will need to prepare mentally and physically: it will be… hard! If it were easy, anybody could do it, and then there would be no challenge to feel and speak about proudly for years to come. Then, you… “just do it!” Along the way, you have to be really diligent to distinguish between the real reasons for which it may make sense to consider giving up reaching the goal from the likely many clever excuses disguising themselves as important to us. Our brains are really good at making believe! Especially once you find yourself at the start line, you should not allow yourself to entertain the idea of not finishing your “race,” whatever that might mean in your case, except for a medical or technical emergency or some major disaster. Finally, do your very best!


If there is only one piece of good advice I would like to pass on, it’s the one I got myself from my aunt, ex-European rowing champion, when I finally found myself on the eve of my first 5K rowing race at the tender age of 40. I had watched with fascination her and her brother’s (my mother’s younger siblings) endeavors on TV. Both elite rowers, National and European champions, from my child perspective they both looked impossibly tall, strong, beautiful, young, and energetic, hero-like figures. Except, I also knew they were very human, ravaging our fridge at every visit, as they were eternally hungry! It may be this early deep admiration that made me eventually take up rowing after so many years…. my mid-life crisis? (I’d say it was a positive way to spend the surge of extra mental and physical energy.)


So, I called up my aunt and asked for her expert advice: “What secret tip do you have for my first 5 K race?” After what seemed a long silence at the other end: “Did you say this was your first? I assume you have no idea how hard this is going to be…” I panicked for a second (“Am I crazy to try this?”), then she continued: “That is OK! At some point it is going to start feeling hard, REALLY hard...” I plastered my ear closer to the receiver, expecting her to whisper some magic formula... “You will see no reason to continue the race… then… you will just need to KEEP GOING, just don’t stop!” I was stunned; “That’s it?!?” I was very disappointed, I had expected some major insider revelation from my extremely successful advisor that would give me the competitive advantage I so desperately needed. The answer came back, simple and practical: “Yes, that’s it! Just keep going, go through the motions, even if your brain will tell you to stop – it’s just lack of oxygen! That’s pretty much the major secret in a long race!”


P.S. As much as I did not think at the moment that I had gained any new competitive advantage, during that race and many others that followed in rowing and in life, I had plenty of opportunities to remember my coach’s advice… it works!

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