Thinking about those New Year resolutions

It's that time of the year.

Standing at the threshold, ready to step into the New Year: looking back, gazing forward… Already considering what would we like to conclude about the year 2009 one year from now, when standing in the same position. I wrote on another blog , that 2009 could be the year of "innovating thyself," by meeting new people, learning new things, adopting new causes or hobbies. All could help us gain a new perspective on things and I believe make us better people and by extension contribute to a better new world. I want to further explore how we might gain a new perspective on ourselves in the process.

We all know what we want (or are supposed to!), but one all encompassing resolution might be… obtain whatever we are wishing for the "right way". Sounds too dogmatic or restrictive? Maybe not! Someone asked: "but what if I wish for more power or money?" That's OK! Let's consider if there is a "right way" to achieve such wishes. If that seems a non-starter to you, maybe it would help to step back and delve into the reason for the wish. There is always another, deeper reason for it, and this might be buried so deep that even you do not recognize it at first. A friend of mine instructed me to discover the deeper motivation behind anything I wish to accomplish by asking myself "why?", and after getting an answer, insisting in asking myself twice more: "…but why?!?". It seemed to work in most cases for me: as soon as I had gotten an answer from my first "why?" question, I would drill into that answer, then once more into the following one. The third answer frequently surprised me. So, if this works for you too, whatever the deeper hope, fear, or hunger turns out to be, there might be another – hopefully better - way to satisfy it.

Let's assume you discover that the desire for power is rooted into the need to reassure yourself of being great, or maybe the need to be admired or loved by others. If that happens to be your case, I think you will discover that there are hundred ways you could achieve any of these goals, in ways that also would benefit the others, rather than alienate or obstruct them. You would likely be more sincerely admired and loved if you are a genuinely great person, rather than if you simply have a higher position. When it comes to proving to your own self, is it conceivable you would not know deep inside you cannot possibly be great if you had to cheat to win the race?!? As an additional benefit, your happiness will not live or die based on your own promotion going through, or the size of your bonus in 2009… This might also set you free to implement some of those great ideas you have been afraid to bring forward due to fears of endangering your plan because due to challenging the status quo... By the way, setting yourself free from your old fears is not only the recipe for pure happiness, but might just be the secret ingredient to make your promotion happen!

The best chance for personal contentment in 2009 will come from deciding ahead of time what (and who) we would like to see in our personal rearview mirror one year from today.

Have a great New Year!